We have come a long way since I began my engineering degree in the mid-90s, and it's been a journey worth reflecting on. Back then, I recall a time when there were only two female toilets in the entire engineering building. As a budding young student, eager to kickstart my career, I faced four years of highs and lows. One memorable low point occurred during my first practical session in the Mechanical Engineering labs, where a tutor asked if I would be better suited to the kitchen than this lab. Thankfully, that tutor disappeared soon after a complaint was made by one of my male colleagues. To whoever that was that made the official complaint when I lacked the confidence to, thank you!
Throughout my career, I have been asked to answer phones while receptionists were on holiday, taken coffee orders during meetings (one of which I was chairing), and been referred to as nothing but window dressing. Interviewers have questioned when I planned to have children, and a human resources manager once called me "bubbles”. Despite these challenges, it is heartening to see how much has changed at universities and in workplaces for the better.
Yet, even with progress, there remains an awkwardness around discussing the hard questions we all need answers to. In large professional organisations with a balanced gender ratio, there are often others who share similar work-life experiences. However, as engineers, we are often the only female in our team or group. So, who do we talk to?
Last month, the Powerful Women in Leadership program convened to address these hard questions. We discussed how to handle gender-based statements in our industry, from blatant comments about being a ‘diversity hire’ to subtler microaggressions in the workplace and society. The general solution we found involves conversations with colleagues and forming support networks. Sharing our stories diminishes the power these comments hold over us, and we are not alone. Colleagues can be our best support network, so talking to others in our teams is essential. Mentors within organisations can also be helpful. Seeking assistance is crucial, as bottling up emotions only makes the work environment more challenging. The common fear is coming off as emotional in the workplace, but addressing inappropriateness is more important as even a "joke" can escalate.
We also discussed balancing family and career. The best advice I have ever received is, “As women, we can have it all, but maybe not all at once.” Early in our careers, we often envision a linear progression. However, as we expand our families (if we choose to do so), we might experience career plateaus and side steps. These choices are not frowned upon; be gentle with yourself. I have taken sideways steps from technical work to project management, research management, and now operations management. I understand the feeling like a cop-out as a female who still calls herself an engineer, but in the big picture, I have few regrets. Today, I get to discuss careers with everyone from high school students to CEOs, and that is incredibly fulfilling.
Changes in societal expectations impact both men and women in the workplace. Our support structure is vital, and these situations are individual. Someone in your office may appear to have it all together while you struggle. Being brave enough to ask how they are managing is important. They might have partners balancing the family load, or grandparents available to collect children, while you receive frequent daycare calls. Being open and honest with each other is crucial and remember that each stage is temporary. I no longer face daycare issues, but I now deal with high school stresses, children's fears of the unknown after school, and even their worries about who to take to the formal. The little things impacting our families affect us too.
Caring for older parents, sick partners, and our health also significantly impacts our working lives. Unfortunately, these responsibilities often fall on mothers, wives, and daughters. We must be kind to ourselves and each other. Speak to your HR department, as others in the workplace may have experienced similar situations. One of our members shared scenarios within her organisation regarding flexible working arrangements, from nine-day fortnights to reduced workdays, three-day weeks, or work-from-home setups. Support is available.
If you are facing struggles, please reach out to your HR department. If you need a listening ear, please share. Using a phrase that was defiantly overused during Covid lockdowns but is still appropriate, ‘We are in this together!’.